Thoughts of You

Good evening honey. I had some free time and wanted to take this moment to say hi and that I just been thinkin bout u a lot. I guess its just being on fires..and while Im usually always around people its still kind of a lonely. I think about u a lot and how cool it would b to look fwd to coming home to you. Or making a call to you at night just to say I love you. Even just having someone to miss while Im on fires is a thing of the past...I mean who would miss that but I do. Its better to miss someone on a fire than just be lonely and wish I still had you to miss. Its funny...with all this time on my hands I getta drive around a lot and listen to the radio. I dont know why but I listen to a lot of relationship call in shows and listen to how many people struggle in relatonships and wonder if we wouldve had the same struggles. It just seems we were so perfect and theres no way we wouldve had big issues...sure the small stuff..I dont think Im naive but I swear we really were on the same page with everything. I just wish we wouldve had the chance to find out. I loved that I lived my life for you..for us and for God. I miss that a lot. I dont even know if someday Ill love like that again. Part of me doesnt ever want anything or anyone to ever taint what we had but part of me loves to love & loves to give. I miss being so happy that my smile could burst my face lol. U did that to me always. So anyway Im really just missing you and missing sharing my life with you. I hope youre looking down on me and youre proud of me...even when Im really stupid I hope youre still proud of me.. I try and my intentions are always good. I know that youre waiting for me..that I know. I have no doubt. Some day hon my face will burst again...when I see you again in Heaven and I smile soooo big just like the old days. I love you honey...always always always and forever forever forever!!!