So Much

so much love, so much pain. I miss you tremendously....it hurts so bad right now. i think it hurts so bad i don't know if i should cry, fall asleep, scream, do something to keep busy/keep my mind free. i have too many emotions and they're all fighting for first place....i don't know what i feel. but i do know this is the worst pain/hurt i've ever felt my whole life. i'd give anything to have you back...i miss you really, really bad. been busy on fires, it's late and i'm tired. i'll write more later, probably monday...it will be 4 months then. why me? this isn't right. lots and lots of pain. i wish i felt nothing. g'night....you're the greatest person i've ever met in my whole life...it's hard to go on without you. i love you forever and ever. please don't forget about me...i want to see you soon....i can't wait. so much love....it hurts so bad. i do love you always, no doubt. g'night my k-dub. xoxoxoxo