Feb 3, 2007

Just Thinking Of You

just thinking of you. i went snowboarding today...almost a year to the day, huh? hurts me so much i get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it. i had a great time when we went on that little valentines snowboarding trip. you were good. really. you were better than some of my friends who had been several times. you were good at everything weren't you.
we (me and ------ - neighbor) just went around here. we did jumps here and there, it was fun. i just wish it was you and me. or even you, me and -----.
i've just been having such a hard time lately. i miss you so much and the most random memories pop into my head all day at any time. there is no control...they just come at me all throughout the day. i just wish this never happened, this is not how i want to spend the rest of my life......life without you. you were the best thing in the whole world. you were the best thing that ever happened to me. i miss you honey. i really do. i just wanted you to know that and i love you now as much as a did a year ago or two years ago. honey, please help me if you can in any way. please help me to make this not so hard. just please come back...i wish that was an option. i would give it all away to be with you again. well, just wanted to say hi and that i was thinking about you. also gotta tell you my valentines day story, the teddy bear, lisas dream, how much i'm hating the fact that valentines day is coming up. how it all ties together. i'm blaaah right now, so how bout tomorrow? i love you hon! :) <----- that is a fake smile....cuz on the inside there is no smiling, it's all hurt and pain. yours forever and ever xoxoxoxo your baby girl

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