Loving & Missing You

I just wanted to send you a note before bedtime to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I think of you everyday honey. Thank you for our time together, I was blessed & still am because I met you. We were meant to be together, it's our destiny. I'll see you when it's time. Until then everyday I keep you in my heart. I love you forever & ever honey. ONE LOVE. xoxoxoxoxo

Another Dream

Hi hon! I had another dream about you last night. It's REALLY vague, but what I remember is you were in a wheelchair because you were paralyzed from the neck down. We were maybe at a park-like area w/ bathrooms. You needed to change, so you wheeled into the bathroom to change. I was totally not thinking how can he change if he's paralyzed. While you were in the bathroom - or maybe it was before - I was thinking in my head "I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him and take care of him, no matter what!!" You came back out and I was trying to get you in the bed of a pickup. I wanted to kind of piggy back you in & I had your legs around me (somehow) and I wanted you to wrap your arms around my neck but then I remembered you couldn't move your arms .. and how was I going to do this? I think I was pondering how to get you in the pickup when someone mentioned something about us being married. Like everyone knew we were married and I was the one who didn't know. So I remember being happy in my head because that meant we were going to be together forever. I guess I had this fear that I wanted to stay with you forever, but I wasn't sure if you wanted that, but when I heard we were married, my heart smiled big. And then I woke up ...

While I was shoveling today I was thinking about why were you paralyzed in my dream, but it hit me, that maybe it was the result of the helicopter crash? That makes sense, huh? Boy, honey I sure miss you. I've been doing so good praying every night (and sometimes more during the day) for your soul in purgatory. If you're not there I know my prayers will go to someone else, but I want you to be in Heaven so bad. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You were such a good person & you treated me like a princess. Your heart was so big & you were so selfless. I was SO blessed. So, so blessed to have you in my life. I love you so much honey, I better go, I'm starting to tear up. You will always be in my heart. Til the day I die. I can't wait to see you someday again!!! :-) xoxoxoxo 1 <3

2012 New Years Dream

So I had a dream about you. The first in a LONG time. I can't remember the last time I had a dream about you, but it reminds me of the old days when I used to dream about you all the time & I'd wake up happy because they're so real, but sometimes sad because you're not here. Or sad because they didn't go the way I wanted them to. This was one of those.
It started out I was driving in my car, I think the blue Mustang & I was going down this windy road and if I remember right I was in a hurry (but don't remember why or where I was even going) and I started going so fast my car lifted off and it was sailing through the air. Like I was doing a big jump, but then it kept getting higher and higher and then I was just flying. As I was flying through the skies there were helicopters all around me and I would fly by them, but then at some point I realized I was in a helicopter & it was me flying the helicopter. I felt like I was out of control and flying way too fast. But soon I saw what I recognized as the Cda resort golf course and helispots right there. There were a lot of them & helicopters already parked there, but somehow I landed in one. I remember just going so fast and somehow, someway I just slowed down, turned and landed on a spot. I got out and even spun the helicopter around with my own strength because it was facing the wrong way (haha). And in my dream it wasn't a big deal or even heavy, it was so light. Then someone came up to me and wanted my flight information. And I knew I might get in trouble for not having a pilots license so I said "(your name)" and the guy with his clipboard looked at me funny & I said "well I didn't fly it but (your name) did and he's off somewhere" He seemed to believe that & I remember people (other pilots) walking around their helicopters and looking at yours, it was 48 Uniform, and people were nodding their head like Yeah, that's (your name) helicopter. The atmosphere was like there was some big event there. So the guy got the information & I ended up going into this building and down a hall into what seemed like the pilots lounge. I don't remember too much of that except you were in there somewhere, but I wasn't looking for you ?? (I don't know why) even though I knew you were there. I went into this room right near the door where you entered. I was in there & some girl wanted in .. and I can't remember the exact order of these events, but at some point this girl wanted in the door. There were windows so I could see her. I kind of waited to see if she could get in because I didn't think the door was locked, but then there might have been a code?? And then next I remember being on a phone (one in the room or my cell??? not sure, can't remember) and it was you. But you thought you were talking to this girl and you were laughing telling her how to get in & I remember you called her Rachel and then I knew we weren't dating anymore. This was your girlfriend and I was heart broken and devastated and I didn't understand .. when, why and how this happened, I thought we were in love forever. And I remember walking to the door looking at her & hearing you talk and laugh like you thought you were talking with Rachel and I got closer to Rachel to see what she looked like and she had short-medium length brown hair and about my height and weight ... and I just looked at her & was speechless about the whole thing because you & I weren't together anymore and then I woke up and it was 5 a.m.
And really that's it. I just wish I could see you again in a dream & we were together again. And everything was okay. Those kind of dreams suck. I wake up and the feeling of rejection & hurt is so real.
I miss you so much honey. I pray for you all the time. And think of you all the time & still always wish it wasn't like this. You are my soul mate and I still feel like a half without you. I love you honey. Forever & ever, that will never change!! xoxoxoxo