My Curse

Got home from another fire.  Everyone has someone to go home to.  I always wish so bad you were still alive & I was coming home to you.  I miss you so much hon.  Lately I've just been feeling like I'm spinning in circles.  I guess I usually feel like I'm doing okay, but not recently.  I feel like I'm so lost without you.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much because you're not here.  I wish I didn't feel so alone.  I don't want to be with anyone but you.  Everyone I meet isn't you.  Everyone who likes me isn't you.  I know God did this all for a reason, but sometimes I get so discouraged, like it's not supposed to be this sad.  You were my everything that I waited for my whole life.  I don't know hon, I guess I'm just lonely & I need you and only you.  You're just not here. 
I love you honey.  I will forever & I think that's my curse.