With Eyes Of Joy

An article I thought you'd enjoy. :)

WITH EYES OF JOY Neshama Carlebach
When I was asked to write an article about joy I was both excited and dismayed. Purim was always one of my favorite holidays when I was young. It was a time of unrestrained happiness, when everyone smiled for no reason at all. That was good enough for the child I was long ago. As an adult, I’ve come to understand that true joy is an incredibly hard thing to achieve. Regardless of what’s happening around me, there always seems to be a small part of my heart that remembers that the joy is either mostly on the surface or short lived. It’s like I’m fooling myself, pretending to be blissful when I’m actually not or remembering the poignant moments when I actually was.Then I relearned something my father, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach of blessed memory always said. I had heard it a million times, but somehow it never resonated in the deepest place in me. We all must learn, he said, to laugh with one half of our hearts and to cry with the other. An almost impossible task. If I am truly crying inside how can I laugh at the same time? My father explained this in the most amazing way. He said, sadly enough, the most complete and fullest heart is a broken heart. All high moments in life when the feelings are too awesome to bear, the intense joy and piercing heartbreak are almost indistinguishable. At weddings, a glass is crushed symbolizing the highest joy and deepest pain the bride and groom both had to go through before reaching that moment. The groom is saying to the bride, I love you so much my heart is breaking. Someone who has known loss will be able to feel joy in the deepest depths of being and will therefore be able to celebrate those special moments when they come around. However, the saddest thing in the world is when someone just does not know the difference between good and bad, between light and darkness, between laughter and tears. A little bit of sadness will allow one to truly experience the joy of life.Reb Nachman of Breslov said that when a person comes into the world, he/she is full of joy, mirroring the state of being that existed while dwelling in God's holy presence. However, when one comes down to this realm of madness, existing is not as pure and simple. Emotional trauma, anger and fear can take us away from the joy we are born with. Ironically, feeling sadness only takes us further away from our life source and ourselves. Still so many of us are afraid to feel joy. We run from it, are suspicious of those who seem to consistently feel it, and are actually happier when we are miserable!But then Purim comes and all of us cynics are commanded to feel happy, to be overcome with the abandonment joy brings. For some of us it can seem so hard to do. But, like most beautiful miracles, God in His infinite wisdom blessed us with this unbelievable day where basically all we have to do, is try to feel happiness. We have a day to try and shed our masks of grief and reveal the inner voice, the voice of our own soul longing for the peace of mind joy can bring. To remember that even though we may be headed for the tree to be hung, in one moment it can turn around and we can be on top of the world. Purim restores our faith in the ridiculous and the miraculous, and reminds us that despite adversity, despite life, despite ourselves we can be happy. I, for one, am eternally grateful.May this year be the year we learn to see the world with ever increasing eyes of joy