Void

I'm so tired. I'm fed up. I'm tired of this. I'm so, so tired. I'm tired of being in the best mood of my life to overcompensate for the pain I'm feeling. I'm so tired of being happy & laughing on the outside when on the inside I have a void so big, nothing...absolutely nothing can fill it. You are the only one who can fill this void and you are gone. It's an emptiness that's indescribable. All these people in my life fill parts of the void, but all of them put together in one time and one place couldn't even come close to filling the void you've left me with. This hurts so much. It's beyond words...the feeling I feel is overwhelming. I really want to just leave, just run, just go. I don't know where, but someplace far away. Some place where it's clear. Someplace where I can start over. But here I am left to wonder eternally. This isn't how it's supposed to be. We were supposed to get married. We were supposed to live happily ever after. You were my one and only forever. You were it honey. What happened? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to carry on? I feel so weak, so sad. I don't know if I can do this sometimes. I just want to die. I want this all to be over. I can't stop this pain I'm feeling. No matter how hard I try to smile, no matter how hard I try to laugh, no matter how many people I surround myself with. Nothing is replacing you. I hate my life right now. I want this all to end and if it means I must die then so be it. Take me out of here, take me away from this life, take me away from this pain. All I wanted was to be with you all the time. That's all I ever wanted was more time with you. You and I both know that. I will carry that to my grave.....we never had enough time.