Randomness

Mr cheeks birthday party was at grandma ---'s sunday....he saw a picture of you 'n' me and said that's uncle ----....i said yah, he asked do you miss him, i said heck yeah i do and he said 'i do too'

the week before that i was wearing your grizzly mt. sweatshirt and he saw the helicopter and said hey that looks like uncle -----'s helicopter, i said it was your helicopter, 33KA, he just said oh

----- told me her prediction was that i would never be with anyone else ever again. she didn't say it in a bad way....just that she knew the love we had and she knows how much i loved you.....love like that doesn't come around everyday. so she meant it like you were my 'one love'

------ pulled me into his office today and questioned me on my future. i told him i still have that passion for basketball, so i don't want to close that door yet and also i wanted to venture out of fire if the right opportunity came up.

i think i get laid off next week....i'm really, really ready. i need time to take all this in and focus on trying to get my mind right. i'm so wishy-washy and rollercoastery right now.

i got an email from larry (in alaska)...remember him from that conference i had to go to in ---? he invited me to baja with his family.....i don't know honey. i'm really trying to save my money....i just have a feeling i'm gonna be needing it. maybe to put a down payment on a house, maybe to pay for an attorney for the property.....who knows....i just have a feeling. and you know me being around other people....not too comfortable. you were the only one i ever felt safe with and completely comfortable ..... ever in my whole life. so being around new people for a couple weeks like that would be kind of uncomfortable....nawmeen. i thought about going and it would replace our honeymoon, but 'nah....maybe i'll just go to AZ instead or something??

gonna go now. in case you never knew ... what am i saying .... of course you knew, but what i was gonna say is i always put you on a pedestal. you were my life. you meant the world to me. you were the most amazing person ever in this whole wide world. i swear you were my angel....you were heavenly you were so perfect. i idolized you....i respected you. i cherished you....my world and life revolved around you. you have my heart always.... until we meet again....so much love, your baby girl.