Happy Birthday honey! 41 years ago today you were born into this world. I got to share three of your years, it's not fair. I miss you so much. I know I'm lucky that I got the last three with you. Yes, I am so lucky and fortunate. I'll never take that for granted. I'll always thank you for picking me & God for bringing us together and keeping us together.
I cooked us a birthday dinner and set the table for two with candles. It was nothing fancy believe me, I just picked something that you & me used to throw together really quick and of course, hamburger helper came to mind and I just happened to have hamburger (which I usually never do). Guess what the funny part is? I mixed corn in with the hamburger helper, just like you used to do. Haha, you put corn in everything. So I even ate my portion with corn in it. Your desert (brownies) is in the oven now. I bought little candles and when it's done I'll put a candle on your piece of brownie. That will be your birthday cake! :)
I was cooking your dinner and trying so hard not to cry. If I stopped and just thought about how it usually was and how you should be here, it made me cry. I had romantic music in the background and I was thinking how much I wanted to have a nice candlelight romantic dinner and desert, dance to the music - laughing & smiling, watch a movie and cuddle and go to bed and make love. I miss all of you so much, you were everything to me. I can't believe how lucky I was to have someone as perfect as you. Ugh, I'm crying now and the screen is all blurry, I need to stop for a second. OK. I have your picture right here next to the computer. Honey, your eyes are so pretty. No one in the world has eyes as pretty as you or as unique as you! I love the blue ring on the outside of the green and the tan ring in the middle. Your eyes are amazing. What I wouldn't give for ONE last time to look into them again. What I wouldn't give for one of your hugs. Oh, I miss all of that. Your soft kisses. I miss you babe. "I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm" is playing. Honey, I won't ever dance again. You were my one and only. And with all the crazy emotions I've been going through lately & ignoring you, I want to say those days are behind me. Please help me and give me strength. Please have God give me strength. You are who and want I want forever. I don't care if you are only a memory. You are perfect and nothing will ever compare or come close to you. I can't fall in love with anyone else.....no way. I need you in my life. You give me strength and a desire to be a better person. You bring that out in me. So for your birthday I got you this card and I will put it in the stack with all the rest:
YOU'RE STILL THE ONE
You're still the one I want to love forever.
You're still the one I want to wake up with every morning
and snuggle with every night,
the one I want to share my dreams with,
build castles in the air with,
the one whose hand I want to hold when I'm afraid,
whose shoulder I want to lean on when I need support.
You're still the one I want to encourage
to make your own dreams come true,
the one I want to comfort when you need a source of strength,
the one I want to hold close always....
You're still the one, the only one, I want to love FOREVER.
I promise if the Lord and you help me and just give me strength I will be yours forever. I can't see myself loving anyone other than you. No one will EVER treat me as good as you did. I can't believe how lucky I was. Well, I say those things to you over and over, but it's because they are so true and I really mean them. My heart is yours honey, it always has been since the moment we met. The memories we shared are from the happiest time ever in my life. Thank God for them & you! OK hon, the buzzer for your birthday cake brownies is going off....gotta run. Can't wait to share your bday "cake" with you. I love you forever and ever honey!!! Your babygirl always & forever! xoxoxo
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