Wedding Anniversary

My card to you this year says:

On Our Anniversary

Like the ebbing
and flowing of the seas
there is a rhythm
in marriage-
two people
coming together
to share their hopes
and dreams,
then stepping back
to give each other
room to grow.

It's been years
since we started our voyage together...
years of learning, discovering,
compromising, and loving.
The smooth sailing has been wonderful,
and the storms we've weathered
have drawn us closer
I love you even more today
than I did all those years ago,
and I'm so glad that I decided
to take the journey of a lifetime with you.

I am committed to you for my lifetime honey....you were my everything and you still are. There is no question when I'm not at work my life revolves around you. I never want your memories to fade...NEVER. I would die if I lost the memories of you. I love you so much. You were my everything hon. Today we would be celebrating our two year wedding anniversary...well, sometime around now...it was 2 Saturdays ago. I'd have to look to get the exact date. Just think I will NEVER be able to celebrate a wedding anniversary....everyone else will, but I will never get to experience that. I will never experience the joy of getting married....the joy of having your child....all the joys that married couples get to treasure, I will live a life and I will never know....I can only imagine how awesome it must be. Those are the kinds of things I think of as I drive everywhere. Today I went to our church and stood in the doorway and imagined you standing at the end of the aisle in a tux/suit with that big grin on your face. You would have been so beautiful, it makes me cry right now thinking about how you would've looked and how HAPPY I would've been. I would've cried, there's no doubt. I walked down the aisle thinking how it should've happened...it's not supposed to be this way. I sat in the front pew and thought about how I would have been standing right there...right in front of my face. I would have been standing there staring right at you, I imagined the pastor reading our vows to us & both of us repeating with huge grins on our face & tears in our eyes...then you may kiss the bride. I miss your kisses. I miss your hugs...."I miss everything about you" honey. I can't believe it never got to happen & here I am on this earth all by myself and nothing has meaning anymore, it just is. I imagined where all our flowers would have been, I imagined us walking out the door of the church and into the big, wide world. The world was ours & nothing was going to stop us. We had it all, we had love, we were perfect. Why does God take the good ones?? Why? Why? Why? I wish I was with you, I wish either you were here with me or I was there with you. Us being apart is NOT right...we are not meant to be apart like this. When can we be together again honey? I miss you so much...I can't stand being without you. I hope it all ends soon so I can be with you soon...I'm sorry I have this attitude, but honey, it is SO HARD to live when you are not here by my side. I have to do it and I will BUT it doesn't change my belief that we are apart and that's not how it's supposed to be!! We will be reunited someday & I will never let you go. I will wrap my arms around you and hold on for dear life...I never want to lose you honey...you're so perfect. So anyway, happy anniversary, I wish we could've been together...it's just not the same without you. Honey, I love you & I always will, that will NEVER change. I hope you're doing okay out there wherever you are & know that I am ALWAYS thinking of you! Happy Anniversary my K-dub!! I love you forever hon - your Babygirl xoxoxoxo