Alone Without You

HI hon ... sorry, it's been a minute since I've really wrote you anything. I don't know what to say anymore I guess. As always, I wish you were here & I always know you are with me & looking out for me....I guess that's kind of neat cuz I know other people don't have that. I see little things during the day and I KNOW it's you & I know you are with me. I sure wish I could physically see you. What I wouldn't give for just ONE more of your hugs. Hon, I miss you & everything I do in this life kind of feels pointless without you by my side. I'm happy, but I always know there is a void and it's you. You are the one thing missing in my life right now. I was thinking today that soon I may have everything I've dreamed of .... house, job and a car to get around (haha - a car). Wow, so what good is it when I go home to an empty house and you're not there....I never thought I'd have my own house and I'd be alone in it. That seems weird to me...my eyes start to tear up just thinking about it....maybe it won't be as cool as I thought....I don't know hon, I just wish it was all different and you were here to share it with. I know I'll be fine without you, but I sure miss you & I really do NEED you. Sometimes I really don't know why I'm going on without you....I just don't know. None of this is right, it should have never been like this. I'm all alone & I get lonely when I think of the void you've left. I don't want it to be filled with anyone but you ... I know that no one else can EVER fill that. I know I'll ALWAYS have it... that's okay. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I'm sure of God's will and maybe he has something special planned for me, but then again he might not & that's alright too. I guess I just wake up every morning and "make it" through the day. There is not a day I don't think of you. All the time I wish you were there to see certain things or share certain experiences ... but then again I know you are there. Well, hon I miss you & I still want to cry when I think of you and how much you meant to me and how much I really wish you. I can't wait to see you again...someday we'll be reunited. I'll finally be there & then it will really be forever!! Love you always & forever honey....my ONE true love & soulmate!! <3>