Ecclesiastes 7:10

So this was todays daily reading ... funny, seeing how I was reminiscing about you heavily today & wrote you twice before this. I love God - he truly works in mysterious ways. And I love you too!! :-) FOREVER honey ... and yes, this is right. What I have to look fwd to is a million times better than what we had. That's comforting. One Love.

Ecclesiastes 7:10 (07-24-11)

from Verse of the Day

Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions.

— Ecclesiastes 7:10 (NIV)

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

The only thing we get by spending our time looking in the rear view mirror is a big disaster in our front windshield! Our best days as Christians are always ahead. Jesus has promised to return and take us home to God -- what better future could there be! So let's not get distracted with nostalgic cynicism. We can thank God for his past blessings, but let's not waste the present with pessimism. Let's make a commitment to redeem our time and trust that the same God who raised Jesus from the dead also holds our future in his hands.

My Prayer...

Holy God, give me a sense of purpose in each day that you give me life and give me an optimistic outlook on the future and on my Lord who will meet me there. Please help me have a sense of genuine joy knowing that no matter where the road leads me today, I will journey with you. In Jesus' name I thank you for being my loving God and eternal Father. Amen.

Dreams Please

So I was thinking about how I used to dream about you all the time & I'm wondering why I don't dream about you anymore? Honey, I would give anything to have a dream about you again. That's what used to get me through my days. Maybe I'm stronger now, but I still miss you & just knowing you are still out there and ok weighs heavy on my mind. I always wonder about you. Where you are? Are you still in Purgatory or are you in Heaven now? Are you off watching over your mom? Or S---? Why don't I see you in my dreams anymore hon? My wish is that you would still at least "stop by" every now & then. Thank you for the signs, I know you still send those. Just about a month ago I was driving through the Santa Y and thinking about that amazing time when we were flying and saw all the wildlife & the sunset and just how beautiful it all was ... and then I got lost in my thoughts & then my heart hurt really bad & I was missing you horribly and then 6th Ave Heartache came on the radio. Ha, that snapped me back into reality & then I knew you were there and it was OK. But anyway, I still miss you so, so much & would love to see you every now and then in my dreams. Maybe tonight?? .... Please. :-) <3 Forever

I Want You Here So Bad

Just wishing you were here & wanting to be able to hold you and talk to you and feel you next to me. I miss you so much honey. I do think of you every day. I never wondered how I'd feel 5 years later, but I guess I'm still thinking of you. I still cry about you. I still wonder what life would be like if you were here. I still feel an emptiness that can never be filled. I still feel like I have half a heart. I still look up in the sky & feel like you are there. I still think of all our memories. I still would give anything in the world to have you back. I still think I will never find anyone that will take your place. I'm going to be alone forever hon. Damn, I wish you were here. I want to share all the fun things in my life with only you. And I wanted to share all the fun things in your life with me. We had such a future together, we had so much to do & to experience. We had it all honey. Every dream of mine came true with you & when you left they all went with you. I wish you were here honey, I have our house, but as the saying goes "this house is not a home" ... without you. This would only feel like home if I was sharing it with you. I don't feel settled if you're not in my life hon. I have no idea what I'm doing in the job I'm in. And if I take a job at ---- or ------ I won't be happy either. I am seriously counting down the years until I'm done with the Forest Service. I'm contemplating working part time in the athletic dept at W---- that way when I retire I got a lil sumpin sumpin to do & it would have some good benes .. as far as tickets & being around athletics. Idk, I just have no idea. I'm looking at property in GV & I could get into something for $60,000! Oh man, how I'd love to have a lil money to secure me a place down there while the price is right! Then the piece below my house went for sale. That hurts my heart hon. Gramz has only been dead for a little while & they sure don't waste any time capitalizing on her death by selling off her stuff and making money. How selfish! There is NO way in the world I could have sold ANY of your stuff right after you died. Hell, I still haven't. I have such a complex about that. Part of me wants to keep it forever even if I know I don't need it, but then I think I don't use it & you would probably want me to sell stuff if I got into a bind. Idk, I have such a complex about that & still don't think I could do that. Your stuff is more important to me because it symbolizes a piece of you. It's not money. That's what is so sickening about that property below me for sale ALREADY!! Grandma made it clear to us she did not want that to be sold to any yah-hoo off the streets. She wanted it to stay in the family. Makes me sick that no one listens to grandmas wishes just cuz she is dead. Really, it makes me mad & hurts my heart. Poor Gramz. Oh yeah, O--- said he had a dream that Gramz came to him. I keep forgetting to ask him what Gramz said, but that is so neat. OMG I wish you or her would come to me in a dream. I remember back n tha day you used to "hang out" with me all the time in my dreams. How I miss those days, it was so real & the feeling of your love stayed with me all through the next day & made everything alright. Well, I'm just kinda depressed lately cuz I'm not with my crew and even when my foot gets healed enough to be with them I'm sure I won't be in good enough shape to hang with them & that scares me. And I'm depressed cuz of the property below me being for sale. And I don't have much money this summer & I'm paying to get your property in my name & the cost of that is scary to me. Ugh just so much stuff that costs money that I need to do & I can't. My hands are tied. Makes me so stressed. I know if you were here everything would be alright. I just know it. And knowing that makes me even sadder cuz it shouldn't be like this, we should be together. We were supposed to be together forever hon. We were supposed to grow old together. Now that you're gone, what am I left with? Emptiness and loneliness for you .. and only you. I miss you hon. I swear to God I still look forward to the day when we are reunited in Heaven again. It will be the happiest day ever. Someday soon hon, we will be together again. I can't wait. Until then I will try so hard to enjoy the time I have here on earth. I love you forever & ever hon!! You are my ONE love! xoxoxoxo