Really Wishing You Were Here

Off and on all day I have been wishing the worst way you were here, so I would have someone to share my day with. There are things that I loved sharing with you. No one else wants to hear some of the things that happen during my day. I wanted to share with you this awesome lightning storm we had today. I wanted to share my fire assignment with you. I just want someone to talk to. I could talk to you about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and you would listen and be interested and contribute and ask questions. I want so much to share my life with you and you aren't here. It's weird to get used to sharing and suddenly it's gone. I now have no one to share with. Things I want to talk about, no one I know would want to hear about or would care. I don't know, it just bothers me off and on all day. I think how I want to share this or that with you and I realize I won't be doing any of that, you are gone. It's really sad that you are gone. I still can't believe it. You will never be replaced. I wonder a bit about my future, I guess it's probably inevitable that I will someday find someone and fall in love again. Maybe, but maybe not. It makes me want to cry just talking about it. I can't fathom any human being on this earth comparing to you, so I really do wonder if it's even possible. And that makes me sad because I may be doomed to a life of just me and my memories of you. That isn't bad, I wouldn't care if you were the only true, true love I ever had. You really are sacred to me. I almost hope I never find anyone else. I certainly can't even imagine anyone else, but realistically time goes on and in 10-20 yrs. from now things may change and who knows? You can't predict the future and I don't make the decisions anyway, God has my plan laid out for me, so if it's meant that someone else comes into my life than that means it will happen no matter what. What I can't help but think is that whoever it is has to be equivalent to you or better (is that even possible? I just don't see it), but anyway, if I ever do end up with someone else I know it will be great because they will have to be better than you. I will not ever in my whole life settle, no matter what. I'd rather live alone and with our memories. That I promise. Well, whatever happens, happens. It's all up to God. I miss you, I miss our talks, our conversations, our cuddles, our hugs, laying next to you, laughing with you, seeing you smile, watching you walk, watching you raise one eyebrow, rubbing your hair, i miss everything about you. I really do. This is certainly a test, very hard to swallow. I try my best and I'll keep trying my best for you. I really, really miss you and love you! Don't forget me ever please, I'll never forget you. Love always, your baby girl.