Where Are You???

So I spent a good portion of my dream last night looking for you. Everywhere. Of course, I couldn't find you. I was at my old college for bball practice, same coach, some of the same players, but a lot of new, young players. I was always a step behind. My passes were off. My shot was off. Everyone beat me in the sprints. I was frustrated. I was looking for you there. Some girl made fun of one of my air balls and I grabbed her by the jersey and through her up against a wall. I said to her "don't make me have to kill you" (Hmmm, some pent of aggression) So I was mad I couldn't find you there, so then I was in the country and it was very barren and it was an abandoned old farm. It was dry and dusty. I looked everywhere for you there and couldn't find you. Then I was at a birthday party looking for you. My old coach was there, family, old teammates and old high school classmates, but I still wasn't happy because you weren't there, so I left looking for you. I was at my old high school next and you weren't anywhere to be found, so I kept walking into the country. I was in the fields and looking out into the rolling hills and I opened up my phone and tried calling you and your phone was disconnected. I was worried and scared because I thought for sure the reason I couldn't find you was because you were working, so I thought if I just talked to you it would be okay. But once it said your phone was disconnected I got really sad because I thought you left me because you didn't want to be with me anymore. You were avoiding me and trying to get away. So I had this overwhelming sadness come over me and then I woke up. And yep, I checked and you still weren't laying next to me. Three more days until our first anniversary. One of the girls on the crew wants to hang out with me this weekend and she especially wants to get a tattoo with me, but I can't bring myself to tell her why this weekend is special to us and I'd like to be alone, so I've just been brushing her off. She asked what my tattoo was going to be and all I told her was it's one of those tattoos with meaning and I'll show ya when I get back. I feel bad because she's really cool and I'd like to hang out with her, but I don't want to bring you up and hear the same ol' I'm so, so sorry and then the person is uncomfortable around me. Anyhow, I feel really sad right now because even though it was just a dream those feelings still carry over to when I'm awake and now I've got to spend half the morning trying to shake this. Hopefully, I'll run it out. That always seems to make things go away or make me feel better. But hey hon, c'mon can't you come to me one more time in a dream. It's been awhile and I miss that. Well, I've gotta get ready for work. One more day to make it through and then I get my four day weekend!!! Oh yeah, I'm going to fast for you the whole weekend, how cool will that be to only receive communion on Sunday. I'll only have the body & blood of Christ to sustain me. And I will really focus on prayer this weekend too. Okay, hon, I gotta go. As always, you are my everything and I miss you so, so much. And you are the most amazing human being I have ever met. Someday we'll be back together again. Love you my K-dub!! Big hugs n kisses, Your Babygirl